Valentine’s Day, You Say…

Artwork: Michal Boubin

So, I am not sure if anyone will want to hear my true thoughts on Valentine’s Day, as they will probably will be convoluted and filled with hypocrisy. So let me just start off by stating, I am single. I don’t think I have experienced a Valentine’s Day while with a significant other. Well, except for that one time I had a partner, but he didn’t believe in Valentine’s Day—so does that count? …and with that, I must say, I think Valentine’s Day sucks. In years past, I referred to it as “Single Awareness Day”. Year after year, I am asked what my plans are for Valentine’s Day and I absolutely hate it. However, I just generally smile and inform the nosey person that I have no plans. You know, because if you don’t smile while saying that you may appear bitter and you don’t want that, right? I imagine if the person knew me, they would know I was single and wouldn’t ask me anything about Valentine’s Day. It’s always acquaintances who end up asking you anyway. I would rather they ask if I were in a relationship, before asking about Valentine’s Day plans. We all know Valentine’s Day is made up, right? Well, hopefully you know. The concept is certainly interesting. It is the day of L-O-V-E! It is the day where we show our loved ones, not just our partners that we love and appreciate them. So, we do this on one day? One day only? What sort of relationships are people keeping with each other, where so much emphasis is placed on this day that if their partners don’t come up with a cool gift, or something reasonable in their eyes, it means they aren’t loved or appreciated. I believe if you’re in healthy relationship, meaning you show your gratitude and appreciation for your partner on a regular basis, you would almost laugh at the idea of Valentine’s Day and all of the importance that is placed on it. At that point, Valentine’s Day would simply be the icing on the cake, but not the cake.

I am more than glad that no one has asked me about plans for Valentine’s Day! Well, the day isn’t over yet, who knows. I mentioned being single earlier. I have been single for 3 years now. After my last relationship, I took some time to get over the roller-coaster ride. Once that stage was over, I truly enjoyed life again. I made sure to stay single for a while. I think it’s important to really enjoy being single. I believe people need people, but I also believe people need to spend time with themselves and enjoy their own company before throwing themselves into the dating scene again. I did have an opportunity to date some really great men, but people can be great, it doesn’t mean a partnership may come from it and that’s okay. I also have a rule about not dating from the end of Fall to about the beginning of Spring. The thing about having your own rules, is that you can arbitrarily go against them at any moment. So let me explain. I find that some people become needy in the colder months, and may just want a body and I am not interested in that. Others may get needy around the holidays, as some people get emotional around all the festivities. You know what I’m talking about. You see these same people put all of their feelings out there on display—on Social Media. You know at least one person who did that, believe me. Ah, and then there’s New Years, where all the feelings and resolutions come out. I call New Years, the Artificial Reset Button. People also start to think about their past and how they have treated people…hopefully, they have treated people well. Unfortunately, some folks have treated others badly and this is the time where they see fit to try to make amends. You may actually encounter the opposite, where people start fresh and don’t even bother to communicate with those they have wronged and/or treated poorly. For a couple of years, I had two ex-partners from my past try to weasel themselves back into my life right after New Years. I told them, they didn’t miss me and that it was the hype from the holidays making them feel that way and they disappeared.

Having said all that, I do remain open to meeting new people and if I were to meet someone amazing in the colder months, I wouldn’t turn them away –see the hypocrisy? I know, I know. I will remain in my singledom until I meet the right person, as I always choose singledom over the wrong match.

Perhaps next year, on Valentine’s Day, I will be in a relationship and will expect all the roses, chocolates, and the bestest (I know ‘bestest’ isn’t a word) spa day ever and this post would be a total sham – nah, I couldn’t see myself wanting all of that. Ahem, now, if I could have those things spread out during the year I wouldn’t turn it down, then I would be winning and that’s how I believe it should go. People should spoil their partners with love, gratitude, appreciation, time, openness, and gifts throughout the year.

So are you dying to know what my actual plans are? Brace yourselves! I am working during the day. Yes, doing work that I love, enhancing others beauty, and making them feel fresh and new. On my way home, I will most likely pick up a dessert and have it with tea and pass out. So, it will be no different than how most other Saturdays end up. If you have plans with that special someone, have an awesome time and do it right, put some thought into it.

What are your thoughts on Valentine’s Day?

Hair By Glenna

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